Like a Panty-Hosed Bat Out of Hell

 This journal is now . . .
SEMI - FRIENDS ONLY

  COMMENT TO BE ADDED 












* No Weapons  * No Cameras * No Holy Water *



75% Friends only

23% open for reading

2% whiskey









All trespassers will be hog-tied and told that they have a purty looking mouth.

Date with the car man? Complete. Date was nice but ultimately bust. I won't be seeing him again. But hey, I got a bouquet, dinner, tea, some dessert, a movie and a ride in the world's best hot rod so it's not all bad. 

Throughout the date I kept thinking about S though and how much I would have enjoyed myself if I had been doing these things with him instead which is crazy considering how divided I was on our last date. Imagine my surprise and my delight upon returning home and finding that my mad scientist had left me a message. I guess we'll have another date to look forward to?

I'm nervous. 

What a jerk off.

So this guy and I get along fine, talk a bit, hang out then he's like "you wanna go on a date sometime? It'll be veeerrry casual". So since he's cute, well educated and employed I say yes. Idiot never calls back. Then he sends me an email today saying the following.

Hey, so I realize that I dropped the ball pretty badly with this. I was actually trying to figure things out with this girl I was seeing a little bit, but that's all over now. Is there any chance that you might still be interested in meeting up?

I'm so sick of dating guys. I think my little Rumspringa is just about over now. Time to go back to being overly serious, no date for you self. It was nice dating around while it lasted - no regrets.

JOB = GET!

Happy New Year one and all!


Seriously, after all that job hunting I would hate to think I waxed my eyebrows for nothing.

Oh god youtube WHHHYYYYYYYY

Please tell me I'm not the only one who hates this e penis of a design. Is the company taking a poison pill in preparation for something new?

Home! 


Home, home, home at last. Tired, but the good holiday cheer makes up for it. I spent a lot of time napping and watching videos while at my mother's. I brought two novels I wanted to finish up with me but I didn't so much as read a nutrition label while I was on break. It also gave me an ungodly amount of time to catch up on a lot of stuff I've been meaning to watch.

Speaking of which, does anyone else out there watch Marble Hornets? I was the last person on the face of the planet to see it and now I'm at that point where I'm gleefully clapping my hands and waiting for updates while sleeping with the lights on. Which I find amusing to no small degree considering the fact that I usually don't do youtube serials since the acting/special effects/filming is usually so awful I can't stomach them for long, but by the 6th entry I was hooked.

Dear Self,

You will never, ever read viewer comments on the 2011 version of Wuthering Heights again. They are all written by nincompoops who can't deal with the fact that Heathcliff was written IN CANON as non anglo-saxon. Neither can they accept the fact that the so called "darkness" of the film is another canon hold over. Yes, people of the UK, you are right. How obviously morally depraved the film makers must have been to make a "dark" film based on a book that has men digging up 7 year old corpses, child abuse, child mortality, forced sexual relations, dead mothers, racial prejudice and sexual obsession. Yes. Obviously all their fault. Shame on them.

Ass hats.

Yours,
Yourself

God that's an awkward way to sign off. tl;dr just don't read comments on "The Guardian" anymore. 

Trying to work my way through Ten Imaginary Years.

Coming to terms with the fact that I might be a bigger fan of the music than the band. Or rather the music and Fat Bob than everybody else. Lol's creepy hats were always unfortunate and Simon never groped Fatty enough for my liking.

Jesus I feel like a 13 year old mall goth.

Dear Mr Maguire,

If you end this book before Liir Ko Thropp and Trism bon Cavalish have a chance to reunite, in one piece, so help me god I will burn something to the ground. No word as of yet about what that something will be. But when I find it, I'll burn it good.

Sincerely,
Your Ever Faithful Fan

P S

Is Nor ever going to un-sew her vagina? I'm not needling for bestiality to take place here, but it seems weird that you'd be so shy about these two committing it after what happened in The Philosophy Club.

I made the absolutely worst sexual pun of my career today while talking with an ex-coworker about the new sexual development in the relationship between a pair of mutual friends of ours.

Me : She was like Carthage and he was like Rome, but more in a positive sense.

Friend : Genocidally?

Me : More like she was never so happy to have the land of her valleys salted by his soldiers.

Friend : Oh god, Acacia.

Later on while driving home I wondered why I hadn't made the more obvious joke of stoking the fires of Baal if I was so intent on using metaphors that exploited ancient civilizations. Probably because I couldn't work "baby batter in the fire" into it quiet to my liking.